Breathe in breathe out

Each day I remind myself that I have a lot to be thankful for.

As the feelings set in of loss I am sometimes quiet and thoughtful. Other times I suddenly have an overwhelming sadness that almost engulfs me. Thank God I have boys. Five healthy rambunctious boys who demand my attention. We lost a little one who would have been due November 27th 2019. I was excited and starting to plan for how things would change this summer with pregnancy. Now I sit here with an emptiness that only a mother who miscarried really knows.

I am aware of my blessings of five boys. My heart aches for the six babies I have miscarried. Each was wanted, but it was not meant to be. I have peace that they are in a better place. Still, there is a process to grieving and I am going through it. I still hope and pray that there are more little ones to come in our future.

The weather seems to reflect my mood. Gray, cloudy, cold, mix of rain and snow. Every now and then a bit of sunshine peeks through. Those rays would be the boys and Franz. Now I am praying that my little one will intercede for the future of carrying another little Klein into the world someday.

Cyril Hugh Klein, pray for us!

This spring the thaw was wild and swift.